34 hands-on calculators, decoders and checklists built around the rules French people actually follow — SNCF fare tiers, Navigo zones, Crit'Air stickers, la bise by region, AOC fromages, and the unwritten rules nobody tells tourists.
Not just "Top 10" listicles. Every tool solves a specific question — what zone to book, how many bises, whether you need a Crit'Air sticker.
Service compris, no-tip culture, regional differences — these are things generic travel widgets get wrong or ignore.
Every page tells you when the answer is wrong — strike days, regional overrides, 2026 pricing. We're not pretending to be a real-time engine.
SNCF has 4 fare tiers and a dozen pricing tricks. Paris transit alone has 5 pass types. Driving means Crit'Air stickers and priorité à droite. These tools cut through the noise.
Prem's, Ouigo, TGV inOui, Intercités, TER — which to book when, with advance pricing tiers.
Navigo Mois/Semaine vs Ticket t+ vs Paris Visite vs Mobilis — which pass actually wins for your trip.
Real 2026 péage costs Paris → Nice, Paris → Bordeaux + Télépéage Liber-t monthly breakeven.
Which sticker you need, which cities enforce ZFE-m, and the fines if you skip it.
Eurostar vs flight vs ferry — door-to-door, with customs and city-center transfer time included.
BlaBlaCar vs FlixBus vs OUIBUS — cost, comfort and cancellation rules side-by-side.
Vélib', Lime, Tier e-scooter, city bike — what to actually use, with helmet and lane rules.
Priorité à droite, A/A-road rules, panneau danger, radar — the things UK/US drivers get fined for.
Service is included. Tipping is optional and small. The bread is free but not unlimited. Lunch is sacred. These are the actual rules of French dining — not the polite clichés.
When to expect lunch/dinner service in Paris, Provence, Alsace — and which kitchens close between.
Service compris + pour le service — what to actually leave, with the 2026 service-worker rule context.
Café gourmand, demi, allongé, tartine, formule — 30 terms with prices and what's actually in them.
Baguette de tradition vs classique, pain complet, viennoiserie — what to buy, what's worth it.
47 AOP/AOC fromages mapped to 13 regions, with serving order (fromage before or after salad?).
Bordeaux/Bourgogne/Champagne/Loire/Rhône — match the bottle to your plat, with vintage/price tier.
Find the next open market for 30 communes — Bastille, Raspail, L'Isle-sur-la-Sorgue, plus what to buy.
You say "bonjour" before anything else or you've already failed. La bise changes by region. Tabacs close for lunch. Strikes are a national sport. These are the rules that aren't in guidebooks.
1, 2, 3, or 4 bises by region and relationship — including the work-meeting "do we or don't we".
When to switch, when wrong, what to say entering a shop/bus/restaurant — based on time of day and context.
When to use tu vs vous by age, context, professional setting — with the "tu peux me tutoyer" cue.
Bistrot vs brasserie vs Michelin, beach clubs, church, Opéra Garnier — what actually counts as too casual.
The red/green/gray cross meaning, typical closing for lunch, Sunday openings, and what's sold there.
Known recurring strike periods by sector (SNCF, RATP, Air France, teachers) and high-risk dates in 2026.
CB means your foreign card may or may not work. The €100 purchase threshold for détaxe is strict. Pharmacies close on Sunday with one on rotation. Cash is fading but still king at markets.
Foreign card acceptance, sans contact €50 limit, plan Vigipirate — what works at marchés vs supermarkets.
VAT refund eligibility, PABLO at airport, single-store same-day rule, and the 12% realistic refund.
Paris vs Lyon vs Marseille vs Toulouse vs Nice vs Bordeaux — daily budget by tier.
Détaxe vs Global Blue vs Planet — which operator pays out best after their commission.
Green cross = open, the garde pharmacy on Sunday, and what the pharmacist can sell without prescription.
Bastille Day is one week of bals. Vendanges means harvest festivals in September. Ski season starts late November in Tignes. Christmas markets peak in Strasbourg. Timing matters as much as destination.
Military parade spots, bals populaires, firemen balls, fireworks on the Eiffel Tower — full evening plan.
Tignes/Val Thorens/Les 2 Alpes/Chamonix by month, ski pass prices, school holiday crowds.
Region-by-region grape harvest calendar + weekend festivals in Bordeaux/Burgundy/Champagne.
Public beach vs plage privée, by month, with hidden coastal paths between Nice and Menton.
Strasbourg, Colmar, Reims, Metz — open dates, opening times, what to eat (vin chaud, bredele).
Pre-check service status, fallback plan: Vélib, taxi G7, scooters, walking radius.
Sounds English speakers mispronounce — r, u, é/è, gn, ill, en/an — with phonetic cheat sheet.
When to pronounce the silent letter (les amis = lay-zami), the 8 forbidden cases, and what parisians actually do.
Generic travel widgets treat France as "Paris + Eiffel Tower + croissant." They get the boring things wrong — service compris, regional bise, the actual SNCF fare tiers, that détaxe is strictly a single-store-same-day thing.
This toolkit is built for English-speaking travelers who want to do the basic things right: not get fined in a ZFE-m zone, pay the right fare, order correctly in a brasserie, get the cheese course in the right order, leave the right tip (small or none), and avoid being the loud tourist who skipped "bonjour".
Each tool is intentionally narrow — it answers one specific question and tells you when it doesn't apply. Pricing uses 2026 reference data, with a clear reminder to verify before you commit money. We don't pretend to be a real-time booking engine.
Specific tools with original logic. No SEO-stuffed "best of" lists.
We don't book, sell, or store your data. No tracking beyond basic ads.
Strikes, fare tiers, museum hours — all change. We flag what to verify.